9/01/2010 - 5-Guy Cream Pie brings you Cherry Poppens — Stands to reason that a porn name summoning images of a zesty dessert tarte would look and taste better with the addition of a pure white glazed frosting. Though confectioners' sugar ain't exactly the main ingredient spurting out of Cherry Poppens' bakery fresh pastry hole most of the time, if you get the drift. When it comes to throwing ingredients together, Cherry, a certified klutz in the kitchen, rarely pays attention to the cookbook and even less attention to the mop up detail. Which probably explains the funky savor of a lot of her recipes. But because the lady's so cute and accommodating, it seems rude to be holding your nose and breathing through your mouth as Cherry's attempting to wipe up those few laggard gobs her male companions left dripping down her thighs. Ya figure if you're going to inseminate a chick, at least have the common courtesy to bring your own paper towels.

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8/30/2010 - Kick Ass brings you Mona — Mona has one of those faces you just feel comfortable with. Like the waitress who served you that dish of Pad Thai noodles, you feel compelled to relate your life story out of a sense of conversation, knowing she probably doesn't speak a lick of English nor understands a word of what you're trying to say. Likewise, as all Asian strumpets, Mona will nod smilingly and you'll take that as the green light for some masturbatory act she could perform upon you. This may or may not be the case, and you can take your chances, however, with percentages working in your favor. Whereas the Pad Thai waitress might yell rape at the top of her lungs in that cute Ho Chi Min dialect of hers, Mona, because she's wise to the ways of porn, can be your obedient house girl. If not in actuality, at least in spirit. And so we present Mona, no bologna.

8/29/2010 - Teen Power brings you Taylor Sands — That old bag with the semi-saggy come hither face, husky calves and sexy feet sitting alone in the coffee shop looked like fair game. That, is, until the high school bimbo with the carbonated eyes walked in. The choice would have been ridiculously easy. You'd have gone for the sure-thing, considering that you haven't been laid in the last five years. Instead, you went for the Teen Power chick, though can't say as we blame ya. And, like the wheel of fortune, your number didn't come up and wouldn't have come up, no matter how many spins. You can rationalize the sad fact by telling yourself that Teen Power chicks are either attracted to Bohemian café poets, Elvis impersonators or carnival operators. Doesn't matter because cute chicks like Taylor Sands will eat you alive with their momentum. That's why we offer them for look-sees on the download. We call it the safe harbor principle. Jack off freely, knowing that your heart won't be cut out of your chest - unless you get too close to the screen.

8/27/2010 - Barefoot Confidential brings you Paige Taylor — Sure, Paige Taylor, if the mood and feeling is right, will let you slip it deep into her ass. And don't we all? She'll suck multiple cock and do just about everything else between A to Z in the dictionary of carnal filth. But it took Paige a little while to acclimate herself to the fact that she could be a sought after foot goddess as well. Filthy girls, whores if you will, don't always connect with the fact that men appreciate some of life's smallest pleasures and will pay king's ransoms to enjoy them. Why just the other day Paige was approached by a man with a history of high family foreheads who offered her untold riches to perform the simple acts she does in this video clip. With one extra- he wanted to smell her feet and pick his teeth with her toenail clippings. Enraged, Paige threw an ashtray which landed on- you guessed it- his forehead. We're heartened by the fact Paige doesn't indulge perverts, and neither should you.

8/25/2010 - 5-Guy Cream Pie brings you Ashley More — This is where most guys have it wrong, They see a stunner like Ashley More and automatically assume she needs to be treated like royalty and put on a pedestal with the resultant obnoxious ass-kicking and gestures of tithing losers generally offer to get in a babe's good graces. Couldn't be further from the truth. The successful dude will treat an Ashley like the whore that she is and make her pay for her own lunch, knowing that sooner or later she's running off to some clandestine affair with five guys bent on defiling her vagina lips with their evil smelly seed. Oh, Ashley, or a counterpart, will play the suckers for what their worth. They will reach for their wallets as Ashley reaches for her watch noting the time. Ooops, she's gotta go. Silvio and his crew are waiting in the alley. It'll be quick because they gotta get back to their probation officers.