Lyla Storm, Evie Delatosso — Sexy Lyla Storm's limber enough where, on a good day, she can actually stick her head up her ass. [As you can tell from the accompanying photo- and what an ass it is.] The people from Ripley's Believe It Or Not have been in touch with her, but Lyla refuses to answer their emails or give them the time of day. Why, we don't know. It's not like she couldn't use the publicity. After all, look what it did for the 9 foot tall man from Mongolia and the guy who had a crowbar stuck in his head for 35 years and didn't know it. Lyla also has other tricks up her sleeve. She can make her moist thighs do duck noises and hold a reasonably lucid and entertaining conversation while being fucked by a black man in a standing up position. Oh, you're not impressed? Then check out the footage. You might be wishing you could get a tight grip on those butt cheeks as well. We mean Lyla's butt cheeks, of course.
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Gracie Glam, Courtney Page, Hannah West — We've extolled the wonders of Gracie Glam's glorious ass and buttcrack in the past, and you can look it up. And, yeah, you're not mistaken. That's a man doing the deep jaw suck off of another man in the opening frames of this vid clip. We didn't know that Gracie condoned such activity, nay, encouraged it, but far be it for us to make value judgments. Granted, this is a traumatic experience for most staunch, hetero alpha males such as yours truly to encompass, and we can only hope Gracie comes to her senses. But we seriously doubt it. Gracie is joined by partners-in-crime Courtney Page and Hannah West, and we're burning candles at the altar for them as well. What prompts women to defile their bodies for cash? If you've ever seen the price of cat food nowadays you'd know why. And if we had a cat, we'd probably be sucking cock in the back seat of a cheap car as well.
Ruby Rayes, Proxy Paige, Michelle Myers, Paris Marie — Like the early bed specials at those old drive-in theatres we used to make out at, it's time for one of those four-hot-chicks-for-the-price-of-one sales. And, like having your own peephole at a Pajama Party, slobber to the carnal delights offered by Ruby Rayes and her tittering buddies as they undress, make a little love and relate wild anecdotes that can only happen to porn broads. Don't know about you, but we've already made up our minds to soil our pants to Proxy Paige, who embodies the cheap tawdriness of the classic shanty town bottled blonde. If proxy-fucking the girl next door is your thing, you also have Michelle Myers. But good luck trying to get a phone number. You'll be sucking voice mail and leaving embarrassing messages that you'll only regret later when she files a TRO against you for stalking. Just kidding. Then if you've got enough strength left in your weary bones to get it up, there's Paris Marie. Oh, you want Paris Hilton? You're on the wrong page and wrong income bracket.
Violet Marcel, Kita Zen, Catalina Taylor — Like a chemical fire, Violet Marcel crackles, and you can sense that she'd be as fragrant as a pine forest in her nakedness. There's also an organized coherent energy about this woman as she describes to the interviewer how she's about to become a Mandingo love toy in her upcoming scene with an internal cum shot to boot. But what if the egg fertilizes and becomes a gadabout womanizing professional golfer later on in life? These are the things we think and worry about. But Violet pays this no heed describing how she's got a pretty wild sex life as well off camera. Do the fellow members in her troupe Kita Zen and Catalina Taylor share the same je nais se quoi attitude? That you'll have to find out for yourself.
Joy, Mona, Goy, May, Jane — Whenever you get five porn girls together with first and no last names, you wonder if someone staged a raid on an orphanage to cast a movie. [Just thinking out loud, no need to get hot and bothered and call Family Services.] Looking down the list, the name caught us as well - Goy - a woman who obviously gets loads of respect when it comes to seating in a Jewish deli. "Goy, party of three!!" Why do you suppose a porn gal chooses such a name? We know she's from Thailand. Is there some local dish she's named after like, Some Young Goy? Stay tuned and you might learn something. Both on the fuckability and poker scale, it looks like we got a full house of Asian chicks from that neck of the woods with funny stories about malaria and house boats. This is gonna be a riot, we promise.
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