Ashley Long, Ashley More, Noname Jane — If you detect your heart galloping and throwing off arrhythmias, that might be the beautiful body of Ashley Long talking to your pecker and not your enfeebled body telling you the end is in sight. Then, again, if your physician's convinced you've got two days left, it's possible that you're not in a rapidly descencing submarine and that all the oxygen around you is being sucked up. This could, indeed, be the big one. Not that it's going to make you feel any better, but physicians have been known to screw up and make bloopers. Except theirs lead to a pile of medical bills that'll bury you before the undertaker gets there. That's why it's nice to be able to watch porn knowing that it doesn't promise world peace, a solution to poverty and hunger or a cure for cancer. Porn is outrageous and entertainingly stupid, and its entertainers are subject to hilarious misadventures. Listen to what Ashley has to say, and if you're gonna go, at least go with a smile on your face.
The Benefits of Membership!
100% Exclusive Content
Always Updated Daily
Hi Def Video
No Fake Tits!
iPod / Portable Friendly
Lily LaBeau — Lily LaBeau boasts Irish-Panamanian ethnicity which means her potato famine ancestors probably arrived over here by canal. You wouldn't know any of this, of course, if you bumped into Lily, say at the local coffee shop. But once you tried to putting the make on her, you'd realize she's only attracted to swarthy, mustachioed men by the name of Suarez. Granted, this story may or may not be fabricated because with porn chicks who knows what's real or isn't? Nonetheless they can regale you with stories that defy credibility if not actual sense. Lily's got a few of her own yarns to spin, but we'd prefer to see her in action wondering if her ass hole smelled like corned beef and cabbage. Anyways, this video clip gives you a little sampling of both.
Lyla Storm, Evie Delatosso — Sexy Lyla Storm's limber enough where, on a good day, she can actually stick her head up her ass. [As you can tell from the accompanying photo- and what an ass it is.] The people from Ripley's Believe It Or Not have been in touch with her, but Lyla refuses to answer their emails or give them the time of day. Why, we don't know. It's not like she couldn't use the publicity. After all, look what it did for the 9 foot tall man from Mongolia and the guy who had a crowbar stuck in his head for 35 years and didn't know it. Lyla also has other tricks up her sleeve. She can make her moist thighs do duck noises and hold a reasonably lucid and entertaining conversation while being fucked by a black man in a standing up position. Oh, you're not impressed? Then check out the footage. You might be wishing you could get a tight grip on those butt cheeks as well. We mean Lyla's butt cheeks, of course.
Gracie Glam, Courtney Page, Hannah West — We've extolled the wonders of Gracie Glam's glorious ass and buttcrack in the past, and you can look it up. And, yeah, you're not mistaken. That's a man doing the deep jaw suck off of another man in the opening frames of this vid clip. We didn't know that Gracie condoned such activity, nay, encouraged it, but far be it for us to make value judgments. Granted, this is a traumatic experience for most staunch, hetero alpha males such as yours truly to encompass, and we can only hope Gracie comes to her senses. But we seriously doubt it. Gracie is joined by partners-in-crime Courtney Page and Hannah West, and we're burning candles at the altar for them as well. What prompts women to defile their bodies for cash? If you've ever seen the price of cat food nowadays you'd know why. And if we had a cat, we'd probably be sucking cock in the back seat of a cheap car as well.
Ruby Rayes, Proxy Paige, Michelle Myers, Paris Marie — Like the early bed specials at those old drive-in theatres we used to make out at, it's time for one of those four-hot-chicks-for-the-price-of-one sales. And, like having your own peephole at a Pajama Party, slobber to the carnal delights offered by Ruby Rayes and her tittering buddies as they undress, make a little love and relate wild anecdotes that can only happen to porn broads. Don't know about you, but we've already made up our minds to soil our pants to Proxy Paige, who embodies the cheap tawdriness of the classic shanty town bottled blonde. If proxy-fucking the girl next door is your thing, you also have Michelle Myers. But good luck trying to get a phone number. You'll be sucking voice mail and leaving embarrassing messages that you'll only regret later when she files a TRO against you for stalking. Just kidding. Then if you've got enough strength left in your weary bones to get it up, there's Paris Marie. Oh, you want Paris Hilton? You're on the wrong page and wrong income bracket.
Pages: 1, 2
Welcome to our free zone, what we like to call our "Guest Tour".
It's a place where you can browse around and get a sampling, a
clear idea of what videos subscribing members to Naughty Bloopers have
access to in our "Member's Area." Enjoy! And, hopefully,
become a member today!